a bit stressed

today i am going to have my spine injection done.. i have been doing them for years and get alot of relief from them but, it's very painful. each time i have this done, i never sleep the night before, due to stressing out. i am having the left side done today and the right side done next tuesday. i am just looking forward to coming home and going to bed!! 

Happy Monday

Today was a bit rough. Since it's gotten really hot here and we have been having storms, I have been getting really horrid headaches. I woke up with a really bad one today. However, I still went to the gym this morning. It was a rough workout but, my head is starting to feel a little better now.

I have kind of hit a plateau with my weight loss this week. I am now kind of stuck at 257lbs. (53 lbs lost)  I know I am losing inches though because I have been measuring and, I'm amazed that so much of my clothes fit again. I am even able to wear my annivarsary band that hasn't fit in 2 years. I will post a photo later. I am having my trainer change up my workouts a little to see if we can kickstart the weight loss again. I am also doing more workouts at home in my off days from the gym.. They started replaying 3 episodes every weekend of Sons of Anarchy on FX. (back from the very beginning till the finale of season 3) I also read lastnight on twitter that filming on season 4 started this morning. YAY!  I have been watching that and walking on the treadmill for an hour.

I feel amazing and don't for 1 second regret having this life saving surgery.  Will post some new photos soon!

a few more hair cut pictures

i also liked these styles

took a few photos today and one from a week ago

bathroom mirror

dogs got my attention for a second

this picture was from a week or so ago..


Got to talk with my hubby today so that was pretty awesome. Hope you enjoy seeing the pictures. As of today, I am down to 264lbs. (46lbs)  Which means that I am 4 lbs from my first goal set. I am going to enjoy a day or getting my hair colored and cut into a new style I think. I definitely need the color as I have gotten very gray in the last couple years. Just trying to decide if I am ready for some high lites or if I want to stay dark brown. (my natural color) If I decide to go with the brown, I will save myself the money and do it myself. I will go pick up some good color. (guess the 25 years of doing hair will come in handy) LOL  Just wish I could cut it myself too but, I won't attempt that.. I just need to find a good style for me that isn't too high maintenance. I eventually want to go short with something like maybe Jessica Stroup's hair..

yesterday was a crappy day

It started out like any other day.. I had a dr. appt. in the morning and found that I am now 268lbs. (42 lbs) That part was great..

Then I got home and found my very large dog, Otis, had fallen down while I was gone and I thought he had broken his hip or leg. He is 120lbs and I am not allowed to lift more then 10lbs. right now. I was kinda freaked out wondering how the fuck I was going to carry him to the car and get him to the vet without Keith here. I figured it out and got him there. She didn't think he broke anything but said he did sprain his right knee and left hip.. He has to be on anti inflammatory meds for the next 5 days. He is walking a bit today so, I guess he is feeling a bit better. It was very scary though!!

Then I went to a support group meeting last night. Sad thing is, it was for patients that are more then 2 years post op.. I was really lost at the meeting because nothing pertained to me at all! Oh well, a meeting is a meeting I guess.. I just wish they would have one soon for patients that recently had surgery.. I think the next meeting is June 1st.

I also went to the gym today and worked out with Nick. I think he hates me! He punished me in the gym and I am really sore right now. I am going to workout with him again tomorrow morning. I can say that since I have been going to the gym 3 times a week, I really do feel stronger and healthier..

On a sad note, I am craving cigarettes again all of a sudden. I'm not sure why. I haven't smoked since I quit in march and I even stopped craving it. It just started a couple days ago though and I am back to the cravings and dreaming about smoking. I hope it goes away soon!  Since I have been out and about more lately, I wonder if it's because I have crossed paths with people smoking??

tried to take a few pictures today

I tried to take them in the bathroom mirror today. It didn't go very well.  Seems like every one I took was blurry or the lighting was really bad. I am gonna have to see if I can get my neighbor to take some this week. I am gonna try for Wednesday since I will be 4 weeks post-op. It's hard to believe it's already been a month.

I am a bit sore from my last workout but, I can't believe how good I feel physically. I got on the scale yesterday while at the gym and I am down to 270lbs. It's hard to believe that in less then 4 weeks I have already lost 40 lbs. I also had a talk with my trainer about doing some boxing. I had seen it on that show Ruby and it looks like a great workout. He said he'd be happy to do that with me so I think we might try it this week. Yippie!

Here are the scary hospital pictures (from surgery day)

I was at my top weight of 310 here..

hubby said I took the pictures of the hospital room. I honestly don't remember doing it. LOL  Their were awesome drugs in that IV box. LOL 

A good day today

Today was an exciting day for me.. I went to the Omni Gyn today and got myself a membership. I also got myself a personal trainer to work with 3 times a week for a year. It was expensive but I am really excited! I start tomorrow. I hope he will work with me and go slow with me..  Will keep ya posted on my progress. I am also going to make another post to put up some pictures. They were from my hospital stay. I am a bit nervous to post them cuz I hardly remember my hubby Keith taking them and I looked horrid. LOL  I am going to put them up cuz I am doing this blog and it's all about my whole journey. The good, bad and ugly!!

I also need to find someone to take some current photos of me. I am almost 3 weeks post op and as of today, I have officially lost 36 lbs.  You can really see it in my face. I will try to get current pictures up this week.